frankly , i broke big man's trust .
trust of being good . im sorry for that .
we almost broke off because of the post .
and he scolded me for hiding things from him .
well , i thought by not telling he wont be mad like now .
he wont nag for nothing , its because he cared and dun want me to
become like one of those unwanted pest .
they will just die of the things the thought like 'SYURGA' . stupid .

i know for all this while, im just wasting my time .
the lepakings and stuffs . its like 'come on, kau mcm tkde life je '
HAHA-. but thats how i really feel .
but i did that coz i want to waste time .
being at home was such a bore . SWEAR .
like BABI , all i do was sleep , eat , lappy-ing ,and do abit of housechores . :P
and i do thanks the regulars for being there for me .
i realise now , mixing ard with them doesnt mean u must be one of them .
you can be close but know ur limits . have principles in life .
its not that im critisizing the regulars , just that i have to think whats best for me n my future .
i know im abit slow in the brain as i find it so hard to catch up with my studies .
i need guide . so , i was hoping that the regulars will think what they want to be in the future .
i really want them to be someone in life . ily guys no matter what .

dearest boyfriend ,
im sorry .
i cnt deny that ive been bad and i really made u mad at me .
i know u want the best n only the best out of me .
u want me to become someone useful .
i understand everybit of what ure trying to say .
i need you . always . but i know i cnt depend on you too much .
ilysm ,